The Weird Wild Web

Anarchy reigns as our intrepid investigators track down the strangest sites on the Web.

Heard the old saw about how twenty monkeys in a single room, with twenty typewriters, left to themselves for twenty years, would eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare?

Well, in case you ever doubted the veracity of that claim, we’re here to tell you that it’s true. As a matter of fact, you don’t even need twenty monkey or twenty years. Take a few relatively bored, relatively young, relatively capable homo sapiens, add the world’s most powerful publishing medium, and voila - you’ve got yourself something that would either drive Shakespeare wild with envy - or just plain wild!

Confused? Don’t worry - you’re nowhere near as confused as the sites we’re going to be reviewing in this week’s edition of The HITG Report, as we turn the spotlight on to some of the planet’s wildest, weirdest and wackiest Web sites…

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

http://www.faeryhill.com/faeryhill.htm

Fairies, bards, knights, dragons…all where reality ceases, and your dreams take over.

Enter FaeryLand, where you can make wishes come true by tossing coins into the Faery Hill Wishing Well, or just hang with the fairies at the Faery Hill, where time stands still.

http://www.webmoments.com/

A site dedicated to the millions of Webcams on the Internet, Webmoments has an interesting array of online virtual machines - the next time you feel thirsty, just hop over to the Virtual Soda Machine and quench your thirst. If you’re feeling a little down, a Virtual Fortune Cookie will pop you right up, while the Virtual Snack Machine is good if you’re feeling like a bit of a nibble.

http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/9319/index.html

Tired of your current inlaws? Want to buy a new set?

No problem!

This site lets you outfit yourself with a new pair of relations - you can buy a new brother or sister if the current ones don’t match your requirements. In fact, if you are not satisfied with what’s on offer in the shop, you can even make a pitch for the site developer’s in-laws.

Oh yeah - if you hurry, you get 50% off. Don’t all trip over yourself, now!

http://www.juvalamu.com/qmarks/

The “Gallery of Misused Quotation Marks” offers a list of signs and poster where the humble quotation mark has been blatantly misused. A detailed, documented list, marked up with some truly witty and sarcastic comments, makes this site one of the funniest in this round-up, and visitors are encouraged to contribute their own examples to the list.

http://www.karmafarm.com/formletter.html

Made a mistake? Need to apologize? Join the club

No, but seriously, in case you find yourself in the awkward position of having to issue an apology without actually meaning it, take a look at Mark’s Apology Note Generator, which will generate an online apology letter for you. It comes with a variety of options, can be customized on the basis of the recipient’s sex, and even allows you to email the letter directly to the person concerned. Don’t expect us to apologize if you get into hot water using this baby…

http://www.pressanykey.com

An interesting site with a variety of brainteasers, quizzes, IQ tests, and personality tests, Press Any Key is bound to turn your mind inside out with its wild and wacky questions. We recommend the Densa Quiz - you’ll know why once you see it!

http://www.stupid.com/Games/french/index.htm

Always wanted to speak Francais, but never knew whom to ask? No more…this site allows you to select a particular combination of words and phrases, and converts them to French for you in a jiffy. Just be careful when repeating them in public…

http://i-want-a-website.com/about-microsoft/

If you are a hard-core Micro$oft hater, then you won’t want to miss this Web site - apart from offering a comprehensive twelve-point plan for a Microsoft-free existence, the site has a host of features that will keep Microsoft-baiters busy for weeks.

An “Unofficial Microsoft Dictionary” that lists “commonly [ab]used” terms by Microsoft, a huge database of quotes from the personalities involved in the Microsoft anti-trust trial and YAMOO, Yet Another Anti-Microsoft Oriented Oracle of over 1,500 anti-Microsoft Web sites, are some of the worthwhile features on this site. Some people definitely have too much time on their hands…

[] http://www.deathclock.com/

Now, we’re immortal - but you’re probably not. And in case you would like to know when you’re going to finally kick the bucket, you can find out at deathclock.com. Simply key in your birth date, sex and mood [optimistic, pessimistic or sadistic about your last day], and the clock will tell you how many seconds you have left to enjoy the pleasures of this mortal coil.

[] http://www.funbureau.com/

They call themselves the “first organization solely devoted to solving the question of what happens to missing single socks” - and they’ve certainly succeeded in turning this simple everyday problem into a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes himself.

The site looks at all aspects of the case, including the possibility of an extraterrestrial conspiracy to take over the planet by depriving its inhabitants of their pairs of socks. With cartoons, songs, online alerts for missing socks, online matching “for the forlorn singles” that you still posses and much more, this is one site that truly qualifies for the “weirdest of the Web” prize!

http://www.amused.com

Did you find all these sites amusing? Well, you’re a perfect candidate for the Center For The Easily Amused, a site specializing in all manner of online silliness. With cartoons, comic strips, links to odd sites, spoofs and contests, this is one site that’s so addictive, it just keeps you coming back for more. Highly recommended!

http://www.purple.com/

No, really - we insist that you visit this one to find out what it’s all about! [Those of you into Zen might find this site to be an object lesson]

http://www.cowdance.com/

Always wanted to see a cow dance? Well, this is your chance - turn up the volume and watch as that heifer kicks up her heels and boogies! And also check out the related sites at http://www.fishydance.com and http://www.hamsterdance.com

And that’s about it for this week. We hope you enjoyed this little trip down the Web’s lesser-known roads - we know that we did!

Till next time…stay healthy!

This article was first published on 26 May 2000.